A Mental Health Therapist's Daily Memos

Test

2010-12-27T03:28:00.002-05:00

Test. (Hi, there!)

I am still here, writing

2008-05-20T10:58:00.002-04:00

I am still here, alive, and writing. I would like to post some news when they are definite.

2007-06-19T00:17:00.001-04:00

This is what I do

2007-05-10T21:23:00.000-04:00

I writeI write when I feel right.I write to pin down the impossible.I write to dig into nothingI write because this is what I do.

A rectangle

2006-10-21T15:01:00.000-04:00

What I saw was an imaginably rectangleThe yellowish-orange rectangle was floating in my (again) imaginably computer screen.The rectangle is about 14’ x 10, with carefully sandpapered corners; it would not hurt anybody to touchWhen I read about your theory, the rectangle gracefully stretched as it still kept its core strengthThat is whenmy consciousness has pealed of its thin. translucent veil,

2006-10-08T20:36:00.000-04:00

No title

2006-08-07T16:58:00.000-04:00

-------------Just wanted to say that...living is not so easy...if you wish to keep a certain aspects of you...something important and delicate...which is a silent screaming...as your mind pops out from the running water, gags for the air, and cries for help in vein...And the water is so pure...so cold...and clean...and it is running right thorough you...and nobody notices what you've been through

2006-08-02T22:39:00.000-04:00

Nothing much to say...

2006-06-15T01:53:00.000-04:00

I promised myself that I won't write here unless something within me urges me to write. I empty my head...just be quiet for now.

Old comments deleted

2006-03-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

I am fixing this weblog just a bit; nothing personal.

2006-03-11T09:35:00.001-05:00

Things are happening

2006-02-28T08:08:00.000-05:00

Nursing school, jobs, investment, and simply life stuff occupy my attention lately. But I am still writing what I really want to write about. I need a few more days until I feel like writing in English...*How do you like this smaller font? Picture: http://www.icelandicsheep.com

A missing piece for my (possible) journal article…

2006-01-14T00:34:00.000-05:00

My “self” is looking for an answer: a missing piece for my (possible) journal article… I know that 5-6 journal articles I read are well-written, and I respect these authors for their accomplishment; but they are missing something…Although this void is temporality stopping my writing the outline of this manuscript (still at the conceptual stage), I see that I am about to bump into an insight…

Writing keeps my feet on the ground

2005-12-10T12:50:00.000-05:00

Yet my blogging continues... I am still drafting my first academic paper, hopefully to be published...I wonder if it will ever finish...One thing I am sure that my first paper would be satisfactory, whatever it means...Satisfactory in a way I feel genuine about the process and (sometimes) the product...Anyway...writing is one of my daily activities that I feel genuine...>Ethics/ ObligationsI

A sense of tiredness- Robert Murphy

2005-10-17T11:04:00.000-04:00

"...there is another aspect of my fatigue that cannot be eased by rest. This is a sense of tiredness to withdrow from the world, to crawl into a hole and pull the lid over my head. " The Body Silent, Robert Murphy(1990, 1987) Here is a line from my sociology textbook.

My Introduction to Psychology 16: C’est tout

2005-08-23T02:09:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 16: C’est tout As soon as I say something, people say they don't get it... I see the confusion, the dissonance in their eyes...a subtle discontent, which may lead their confusion and small panic....Good grief...You are just standing in front of a person who thinks differently— an alternative circuit of the brainchip … c’est tout.picture: confusion - by marci

Just to tickle your electronica brain- Yoko Kano

2005-08-11T18:29:00.000-04:00

Yoko Kano's soundtrack forGhost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complexhttp://jameswong.com/ykproject/disc/music.phpHer sounds and beats just tickle my mind a bit...

A Teenage Delivery-- a poem of a young physician

2005-08-06T09:49:00.000-04:00

The night had just the sky embraced,with stars that blushed like freckles.Alone in bed, a girl in labor,cried out in pain for her mother.Nine months had passed that broughther here, now cursed with a delivery.The Examining Room of Dr. Charleshttp://drcharles.blogspot.com/Entry 7.5.05A painfully beautiful... Do you remember...When you see something that itchesyour heart...I am afraid that any of

Think that I found my voice

2005-08-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

Think that I found my voiceI believe that I found my authentic voice, in the English language...What I say makes sense to me; and I feel comfortable about my fragmented sentenses.>Since last week, I am officially a nursing school student. I will take prerequisites in suburban Boston for one more semester. But I am officially enrolled in the school, and I will start the clinical from January 2006.

2005-08-02T19:32:00.000-04:00

2005-07-29T17:24:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 15: Faith

2005-07-24T09:43:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 15: FaithThis is the topic that touches the root of many people... I see a big, old tree-- higher than the tallest building in the village; wider than a humble house; deeper than the stream of water underneath.A sleepy Sunday morning...hopefully the tea will kick in soon...

My Introduction to Psychology 14: A Doubt

2005-07-21T00:02:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 14: A DoubtYou have worked hard; now you have something to do and something to write about. But you know that you have joined with a million other writers, anxious to get noticed.How do you know that you will stand out? You know that you are connected with everybody: if everybosy is connected each other, what is the point of your talking about the universal

2005-07-19T22:08:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 13: Change

2005-07-12T16:38:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 13: ChangeWe can’t really change people…in the foundational way…Yes, people do change when then want to…they become something they want to be…yet people “rebound” to their old self. (Just like after losing weight.)So, what are we helpers doing here? Some say that we are waiting for people to change, the other say that we are really able to change people. Let’s say

My Introduction to Psychology 12: A moment

2005-07-07T21:50:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 12: A moment Sometimes- it is rare- sometimes a core of a person, concept, system…etc shows itself…right in front of me. This is quite difficult to describe what I have seen..some folks prefer to say that something is revealed to me by the higher power.(As usual, the term “highter power” does not sit well with me…) What a person you are…you just captured the core…did you noticed that? Yes you did…and the very core quivers you…shakes your very

My Introduction to Psychology 5:Boyfriend, girlfriend things…

2005-06-27T08:50:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 5: Boyfriend, girlfriend things… A relationship freezes a moment, cuts a piece out of it, dangles it in front of our noses to see. Eternity... “We were friends for over six years before we entered into our six-and-one-half year relationship. And thus, when the

Thanks for the link- "Mental Nurse"

2005-06-26T16:36:00.000-04:00

"...being a caring person probably is not enough. Mental health nursing is difficult and emotionally trying, an ability to distance oneself from another’s misery is essential." -Mental Nurse-http://www.mentalnurse.org.uk/why-i-became-a-nurse/ Thanks for linking to my weblog. If the link does not work, try http://www.mentalnurse.org.uk/

My Introduction to Psychology 4: "Why don't you do something else productive?"

2005-06-22T14:14:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology 4: "Why don't you do something else productive?"You may ask me that"Rather than doing talking therapy and not doing anything, why don't you do something more productive?" Another proper question.Since you have been reading my writings for a while, you know that I won't give you the answers that textbooks would have given to you.No, I changed my mind; I will give you

My Introduction to Psychology3: Do I read your mind?

2005-06-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology3: Do I read your mind?I know that you will ask this question to me, sooner or later. And you know that I won't answer you...You didn't forget that you are talking to a shrink...Good luck for your soul...

My Introduction to Psychology2

2005-06-21T23:03:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology2I write to exist…I write to tweak my tune, so it would sound genuine to me…I write to bridge the gap between me and the others…me and the well-defined, proper, and normal…The gap ultimately belongs to myself…inside…my façade and true self…my fake alter ego and something quivering…

My Introduction to Psychology 1

2005-06-21T01:21:00.000-04:00

My Introduction to Psychology1I view psychology…as a personal and intimate matter. I ask you to hold onto saying that “that is such and such approach”. As soon as you define my theoretical orientation or simply label my concepts, you might interfere my imagination…This writing, an online textbook of introduction to psychology, is an authentic one…I will not follow the standard organization of

An inspiration/A story

2005-06-09T15:30:00.000-04:00

I would like to limit my journal writing, for now, until I get an inspiration.(Inspiration in this case means that a story shows itself and urges me to write about it, no the other way around.) I haven’t gotten inspiration in the last few months. I know it is coming soon…

The title of this blog

2005-05-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

Well…this blog still continues. I already took chemistry, biology, and microbiology finals at my current school (guess where?) last week. Here I am, planning for a brief vacation for the last minute.Regarding to the title of this blog, I am not practicing psychotherapy right now. But whatever I will do in my life will reflect my background. I won’t change at the core…

BGM: Beck's "Already dead"

2004-11-10T15:08:00.000-05:00

My unplugged family

2004-10-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

I just emailed my mother from the school PC. My family had been one of the most unplugged folks until she have gotten the text messaging function on her cell phone. The deal is; she types in Japanese and some of my school PC can display the language. I use the roman alphabet to write her. Emailing my family makes me nostalgic- when I came to US long time ago, I communicated with my family with

2004-10-06T19:19:00.000-04:00

Why do I keep blogging?

2004-10-04T13:55:00.000-04:00

[Why do I keep blogging?] Another faculty member mentioned my blog (this one), asked me why I do this. He is not judging my motivation, but curious. This is why I am elaborating on this topic… First, I am blogging to proof that I am here and I will be here. I will not disappear, not from the cyberspace and playgrounds of thinking. Second, I am here to proof myself that what I am thinking is

Hmmm…my LAN network has been down for the last two days. [title only]

2004-09-24T11:36:00.000-04:00

Hmmm…the LAN network at home has been down for the last two days.

Thank you for your support...

2004-09-22T13:48:00.000-04:00

Thank you for your support... Briefly discussed on my situation with M, 4th year student. One of the discussion topics are…Art: Do you create an art form or the art calls on you?

2004-09-15T23:22:00.000-04:00

New Apt

2004-08-08T15:04:00.000-04:00

[New Apt]Found an apartment. The room will be ready to move my stuff in as early as two weeks.

Ikiru! The superb movie!

2004-06-20T23:29:00.000-04:00

Ikiru http://www.xasa.com/wiki/en/wikipedia/i/ik/ikiru.html I am sorry for my language. But if you think that life is meaningless, get up, hop on your car, and grab this damn movie!

2004-06-17T02:55:00.000-04:00

THE REALM OF VISUAL STATISTICS [useful stuff-statistics]

2004-06-16T19:14:00.000-04:00

THE REALM OF VISUAL STATISTICS [useful stuff-statistics] MODERN EPISTEMOLOGY IN SEARCH FOR MEANING BY DAVID J. KRUS Posted the link to a Wiki: Getting Serious About Statistics

2004-06-03T12:52:00.000-04:00

2004-05-25T17:03:00.000-04:00

2004-05-12T19:16:00.000-04:00

[Note][Adult ADHD]

2004-05-10T11:47:00.000-04:00

[Note][Adult ADHD] "Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder", Psychiatric Clinics of North America, June 2004, Vol27(2)Editor T. Spencer. ISSN 0193-953X [Found at MSPP]

Looks like another kayak day (Saturday)

2004-05-01T14:34:00.000-04:00

Looks like another kayak day. I will finish videotaping a psychpharm class in one hour or so: the kayak time is coming as soon I get off from this (yet still fun) work today! I have been actively kayaking and canoeing on the Charles River lately. One of my classmates expressed his deep interest in joining...Anybody wanna join us in the summer? See you on the water.

2004-03-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

2004-03-12T00:35:00.000-05:00

2004-02-25T23:23:00.000-05:00

2004-02-19T21:03:00.000-05:00

A slowly shattered soul/drafting a website

2004-02-19T10:42:00.000-05:00

[A slowly shattered soul/drafting a website] I am re-reading Bessel van der Kolk’s seminal article about post traumatic-stress disorder, “The Body Keeps the Score”. This article somehow makes me plan another website, or at least another page on my existing website (jayotsuka.com). The new website will feature dissociation, trauma, and spirituality. I start with these vague ideas, since I

First Bipolar Paper is done

2004-02-02T13:05:00.000-05:00

I just submitted a literature search paper, which consumed me in the last one month or so. This was my first time to write a formal paper about this topic. Thank you for P.W. and S. A. for helping me out.

[Dostoevsky-stuff]

2004-01-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

Humans are beautiful, in spite of, in spite of, in spite of,... and because of...

2004-01-06T00:35:00.000-05:00

[! Last Samurai! ][Gotta See it]

2003-12-06T01:45:00.000-05:00

Just watched The Last Samurai, featuring Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe. Watanabe almost stole the movie as a supporting actor. No, let's say that this movie is a product of a teamwork, and Tom Cruise blended in the entire architecture of the movie. How mature and accomplished Cruise is. Did I hear Oscars for the both actors? This movie is the bomb.

2003-11-28T01:05:00.000-05:00

[i-Tunes and urban funk]

2003-11-03T17:33:00.000-05:00

[i-Tunes and urban funk] You know i-Tunes, and funk music is assaulting my ears right at this moment...Urban funk gives me a lift...check out radio section of i-Tunes. http://www.apple.com/itunes/ It is compatible with Mac/Windows. It rocks...

2003-11-01T18:33:00.000-05:00

2003-10-25T09:18:00.000-04:00

2003-10-14T22:06:00.000-04:00

2003-10-09T15:36:00.000-04:00

2003-10-09T15:27:00.000-04:00

2003-10-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

2003-10-02T14:27:00.000-04:00

[Thanks][K@ Library]

2003-09-30T09:32:00.000-04:00

[Spy News][Nick C]

2003-09-30T09:20:00.000-04:00

[Spy news][New Student Worker]

2003-09-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

[Today’s “Good Kid”]

2003-09-29T12:16:00.000-04:00

Working hard or hardly working

2003-09-29T11:49:00.000-04:00

2003-09-28T10:19:00.000-04:00

2003-09-28T10:16:00.000-04:00

[Plug & Play][i-mac][Have fun]

2003-09-20T18:24:00.000-04:00

My friend K took me to his lab in a medical school. Lots of imacs!!!

2003-09-11T17:50:00.000-04:00

[Dissertation][Spiritual Stuff][MSPP Grad]/[Boston][Online Community]

2003-09-09T12:52:00.000-04:00

[Dissertation][Spiritual Stuff][MSPP Grad] Aliveness: A Study on Transcendent Experiences in Positive and Negative Contents by Carol D. Gray (1995). A very comprehensive work_even as a dissertation. [Boston][Online Community] http://boston.craigslist.org/

[CBT, Metacognition, mindfulness, and Haruki Murakami][Hip Journal Article]

2003-08-27T17:42:00.000-04:00

This article does not mention Haruki Murakami (maybe he should...not only just because I like the author but Murakami writes about the rhythm of his daily life); yet this article shakes my Harukian part of brain... re: GAD, Metacognition, and Mindfulness: An Information Processing Analysis by Adrian Wells, U of Manchester. In Clinical Psychology 9: 95-100, 2002.

[Assessment][DSM-V development]

2003-08-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

A Research Agenda for DSM-V http://www.appi.org/Cat2k/2292.html Free to download a thick book from American Psychiatric Association. I am curious how APA handle validity and reliability of new DSM…

2003-08-26T11:24:00.000-04:00

2003-08-16T13:42:00.000-04:00

[molecular psychiatry] [Steven E. Hyman, M.D] Research Summary Does this mean that dopamine agonists might change gene expression of neurons, which create dorpamine? Wow. Non-science major like me don’t have enough training to understand this...

[PB researcher][Psychiatric Genetics][John Rice Kelsoe, Jr., M.D]

2003-08-16T11:37:00.000-04:00

[John Rice Kelsoe, Jr., M.D] Bio/Publications

About.com Picked this Blog

2003-08-09T18:25:00.000-04:00

About.com Mental Health picked this Mental Health Therapist's Daily Memos recently. I don't know exactly when, but I bumped into a link, just now. http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/weblogsblogs/

A Beautiful Mind- Manic Depression and Kay Jamison

2003-08-04T18:34:00.000-04:00

Read An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison- The author is a professor in Psychiatry in John's Hopkins and a prominent author. Her story of academic inquires on and personal battles with manic depression (bipolar disorder) is simply exquisite and intriguing.

What behavior is pathological and what is not?

2003-08-02T11:02:00.000-04:00

If a behavior significantly undermines your daily functions, it is pathological; if not, it is normal. This statement is a rough sketch. But as far as I know, this is a foundation of psychopathology. The rest of arguments are matters of different values, subjective opinions, and politics. I have no intention to make another diagnosis cookie-cutter ...just a thought.

2003-07-30T10:16:00.000-04:00

[Link][Psychopharmacology][Psychiatry] Psycho-Babble by Dr Bob.

2003-07-29T14:31:00.000-04:00

[Journal Articles] [Buddhism and CBT] Cognitive and Behavioral Practice9(1), 2002. Special Series.

2003-07-29T14:11:00.000-04:00

[Journal Article] [Emotion, Information-Processing, Behaviorism] Measuring Emotion in Therapy: Imagery, Activation, and Feeling. Lang, P., Cuthbert, B., & Bradley, M. (1998). Behavior Therapy 29, 655-674. [Course Packed of CBT Class] Additional key words: meaning, semantics, network

2003-07-27T16:06:00.000-04:00

[Memo][Music] Rachmaninoff Prelude in G-Sharp Minor. Wow!

2003-07-24T12:32:00.000-04:00

Maybe I did not tell the reader that I have been working on campus for two weeks. I just help a huge renovation of the school building and office work like stuffing envelopes. Job is good; now I can pay for a bag of potato.

2003-07-23T12:59:00.000-04:00

[Log] [Research] Methodological Issues and Strategies in Clinical Research, 3rd ed. Edited by Alan E Kazdin. 2003. ISBN: 1-55798-959-1: I just looked at this in lunch break. What a thick book.

2003-07-17T18:38:00.000-04:00

How Japanese People Really Think About "You"? If you are interested in reading honest opinions and relatively accurate (in my opinion) information from Japanese people and those who are in Japan, try Japan Times. It also features cultural backgrounds in clear English. Don't miss the Letter section...some of the letters are from US and they may say something you always wanted to say! The Japan

2003-07-01T01:00:00.000-04:00

"The core of Piaget is his belief that looking carefully at how knowledge develops in children will elucidate the nature of knowledge in general. " Papert Source