No title

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Just wanted to say that...living is not so easy...if you wish to keep a certain aspects of you...something important and delicate...which is a silent screaming...as your mind pops out from the running water, gags for the air, and cries for help in vein...

And the water is so pure...so cold...and clean...and it is running right thorough you...and nobody notices what you've been through...

Nothing much to say...

I promised myself that I won't write here unless something within me urges me to write.

I empty my head...just be quiet for now.

Old comments deleted

I am fixing this weblog just a bit; nothing personal.

Things are happening

Nursing school, jobs, investment, and simply life stuff occupy my attention lately. But I am still writing what I really want to write about. I need a few more days until I feel like writing in English...

*How do you like this smaller font?



Picture: http://www.icelandicsheep.com

A missing piece for my (possible) journal article…

My “self” is looking for an answer: a missing piece for my (possible) journal article…

I know that 5-6 journal articles I read are well-written, and I respect these authors for their accomplishment; but they are missing something…Although this void is temporality stopping my writing the outline of this manuscript (still at the conceptual stage), I see that I am about to bump into an insight…

Writing keeps my feet on the ground

Yet my blogging continues...

I am still drafting my first academic paper, hopefully to be published...I wonder if it will ever finish...

One thing I am sure that my first paper would be satisfactory, whatever it means...

Satisfactory in a way I feel genuine about the process and (sometimes) the product...

Anyway...writing is one of my daily activities that I feel genuine...

>

Ethics/ Obligations

I wonder if responsibility really limit people…
I would rather think that responsibility CONNECTs people…
a life in the existential vacuum connects with another…
confirm (if you are a believer) or construct (if you are agnostic/ atheist)
a meaning at a time…

A pounding life, a chip of life…one ship of the drink of…the origin?

>
Medical ethics (cont’ed)

The following is my tentative thought.

Our (my) responsibility as human is big enough…big enough to let us decide on life…I am not sure that we are entitled or not, but not making decision about life could be unethical and not practical.

A sense of tiredness- Robert Murphy

"...there is another aspect of my fatigue that cannot be eased by rest. This is a sense of tiredness to withdrow from the world, to crawl into a hole and pull the lid over my head. " The Body Silent, Robert Murphy(1990, 1987)

Here is a line from my sociology textbook.

My Introduction to Psychology 16: C’est tout

My Introduction to Psychology 16: C’est tout

As soon as I say something, people say they don't get it...

I see the confusion, the dissonance in their eyes...a subtle discontent, which may lead their confusion and small panic....Good grief...You are just standing in front of a person who thinks differently— an alternative circuit of the brainchip … c’est tout.

picture: confusion - by marci featherstone

Just to tickle your electronica brain- Yoko Kano

Yoko Kano's soundtrack for

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

http://jameswong.com/ykproject/disc/music.php

Her sounds and beats just tickle my mind a bit...

A Teenage Delivery-- a poem of a young physician

The night had just the sky embraced,
with stars that blushed like freckles.
Alone in bed, a girl in labor,
cried out in pain for her mother.
Nine months had passed that brought
her here, now cursed with a delivery.


The Examining Room of Dr. Charles
http://drcharles.blogspot.com/
Entry 7.5.05


A painfully beautiful... Do you remember...When you see something that itches
your heart...I am afraid that any of my words about this poem may hurt something delicate---
something fragile and small...

Think that I found my voice

Think that I found my voice

I believe that I found my authentic voice, in the English language...What I say makes sense to me; and I feel comfortable about my fragmented sentenses.

>
Since last week, I am officially a nursing school student. I will take prerequisites in suburban Boston for one more semester. But I am officially enrolled in the school, and I will start the clinical from January 2006.

My Introduction to Psychology 15: Faith

My Introduction to Psychology 15: Faith

This is the topic that touches the root of many people... I see a big, old tree-- higher than the tallest building in the village; wider than a humble house; deeper than the stream of water underneath.

A sleepy Sunday morning...hopefully the tea will kick in soon...

My Introduction to Psychology 14: A Doubt

My Introduction to Psychology 14: A Doubt

You have worked hard; now you have something to do and something to write about. But you know that you have joined with a million other writers, anxious to get noticed.

How do you know that you will stand out? You know that you are connected with everybody: if everybosy is connected each other, what is the point of your talking about the universal connection?

Say you are alone: you are walking on the sky at night. The air is like black water; it is dark and warm. Feel the comfortable, mercurylike, water that is touching your cheeks. You are flying...

My Introduction to Psychology 13: Change

My Introduction to Psychology 13: Change

We can’t really change people…in the foundational way…Yes, people do change when then want to…they become something they want to be…yet people “rebound” to their old self. (Just like after losing weight.)

So, what are we helpers doing here? Some say that we are waiting for people to change, the other say that we are really able to change people. Let’s say that we are able to do so. In that case, are the people (the product of our intervention) genuine? Aren’t they creepy, therapied, politically correct, sanitized, MacDonald’s hanger-version-of-processed-human-soul?

Let’s say that we therapists struggle between the two sticky edges of the swords—changing a person for treatment and keeping the something terrible yet fantastic characteristics of him/her…

My Introduction to Psychology 12: A moment

My Introduction to Psychology 12: A moment

Sometimes- it is rare- sometimes a core of a person, concept, system…etc shows itself…right in front of me. This is quite difficult to describe what I have seen..some folks prefer to say that something is revealed to me by the higher power.(As usual, the term “highter power” does not sit well with me…)

I have been writing about this moment; and I will write and talk about this for a while…

My Introduction to Psychology 11: Tom Cruise and Mental Health

My Introduction to Psychology 11: Tom Cruise and Mental Health.

Tom believes that anybody, including Brooke Shields---who had been obviously depressed after birth of her newborn child—should not take antidepressants nor psych-meds. In my view, Tom is half right and half wrong…Here are the two conflicting points of view.

Tom should not condemn every single psychiatric medication; some people would die or seriously injured when they don't seek a course of treatment, which may include taking antidepressants, untipsychotics like Haldol, and stimulants like Ritalin. When I was a student counselor, I treated children with hyper-activities and inattentiveness in a hospital setting. The hyperactivity of the children was so serious that they needed medical attention most of the time. Although Tom might read some journal articles of psychiatry, obviously his reading list is not comprehensive- maybe his neurological condition is less serious than those who I encountered in the hospital..Yes, there is a room for some improvement based on personal effort. But Tom pushed the envelope too far…Didn’t he learn the middle way?

Second, Tom’s frustration with psychiatry is, at least partially, understandable. Psychiatry (and clinical psychology, counseling…etc) has been dealing with unclear topics-- What are mental illnesses? What are the right treatments? (And, what's normal behaviors anyway?" How the medications and psychotherapy work? Almost all of these critical questions are answered ONLY by hypotheses. I repeat. As of today, most of mental illness are diagnosed WITHOUT hard-evidences, such as brain imageries and results of bloodworks. We don’t even track the hormonal levels of a psych patient on regular basis (unless the medication requires it for safety purposes). We diagnose and track the “progress” of patients simply by talking, physically examining (if you have medical background), and using paper-and-pencil tests (such as Beck Depression Inventories). I do not call the treatments “pseudo science”, but if I were a consumer, I will check where is the bases of a diagnosis and a course of treatment. Let’s go back to the common sense and the middle way…Tom…

My Introduction to Psychology 9: Aattle against boredom and nothingness…

My Introduction to Psychology 9: A battle against boredom and nothingness…

Creativity comes from my battle against boredom and nothingness…

This is a bummer; makes me feels down by just thinking about the fact that I have just been sitting around for the all summer…

A guy with a little bit of career and trainings…Thanks to the sucker immigration office!

I still thank my current school that gave me a legal job- tutoring…I am still lucky as an international student. I am not asking Uncle Sam to feed me. I am just asking him to let me use my skill and training without feeling like a criminal who smuggled himself to this country…

So, my answer to the question “what the hell a psychology student do?” is ongoing…

My Introduction to Psychology 8: I repeat the theme

My Introduction to Psychology 8: I repeat the theme of my writing...


What else do I say? What is the point of doing something if I miss the core of the issue?

I write due to my hunger...Hunger for articulating my thoughts....scratching on something...
divine...something...I can only pinpoint when I break the rules of English grammar and usage...

"Articulating my thought" does not sit right in me...not entirely missing the point, but a ways to go...
to go to where?

Good grief...a good soul...

My Introduction to Psychology 7: Found another writer…(Re: English w...)

My Introduction to Psychology 7: Found another writer…(Re: English writing)

Most of the time, I scratch surfaces of what people are saying (partially) because of my language thingies. But…sometimes I cannot help myself to shake (you know that I try not to overuse the term quiver…oops, used it one more time…) as I read some writings…obviously in English, this sticky, seemingly flat/colorless/odorless combination of the alphabet (compared to Asian writings, full of pictographs…)

When I find a new writer, my heart grows…my neural network clumsily copies the new style, like adopting new molecular shapes of protein…

Good luck for my soul…

My Introduction to Psychology 6: Creativity in a nutshell

My Introduction to Psychology 6: Creativity in a nutshell

When creative (mercury-like) liquid bursts, quietly, like a beginning of micro-universe, I sigh with an owe…

What a person you are…you just captured the core…did you noticed that?

Yes you did…and the very core quivers you…shakes your very ground…

You are standing on the same ground of, or at least saw the glimpse of a sphere where Taro Okamoto and S. Dari belong…

My Introduction to Psychology 5:Boyfriend, girlfriend things…

My Introduction to Psychology 5: Boyfriend, girlfriend things…

A relationship freezes a moment, cuts a piece out of it, dangles it in front of our noses to see.

Eternity...

“We were friends for over six years before we entered into our six-and-one-half year relationship. And thus, when the relationship ended, not only did I lose a boyfriend, but I also lost a friend. Even though we murmured something about “staying friends”. “

- http://www.intueri.org/ -

Thanks for the link- "Mental Nurse"

"...being a caring person probably is not enough. Mental health nursing is difficult and emotionally trying, an ability to distance oneself from another’s misery is essential." -Mental Nurse-
http://www.mentalnurse.org.uk/why-i-became-a-nurse/ Thanks for linking to my weblog. If the link does not work, try http://www.mentalnurse.org.uk/

My Introduction to Psychology 4: "Why don't you do something else productive?"

My Introduction to Psychology 4: "Why don't you do something else productive?"

You may ask me that"Rather than doing talking therapy and not doing anything, why don't you do something more productive?" Another proper question.

Since you have been reading my writings for a while, you know that I won't give you the answers that textbooks would have given to you.

No, I changed my mind; I will give you a bit practical answer. Psychotherapy done properly helps to decrease the symptoms of clients significantly. Actually, some people would be more seriously impaired or even die without proper psychological intervention...
Let's say that psychotherapy is one of the critical ingredients of successful treatments...I don’t believe in a specific psychological theories; but every mainstream therapy school works.

My Introduction to Psychology3: Do I read your mind?

My Introduction to Psychology3: Do I read your mind?

I know that you will ask this question to me, sooner or later. And you know that I won't answer you...You didn't forget that you are talking to a shrink...

Good luck for your soul...

My Introduction to Psychology2

My Introduction to Psychology2

I write to exist…I write to tweak my tune, so it would sound genuine to me…

I write to bridge the gap between me and the others…me and the well-defined, proper, and normal…

The gap ultimately belongs to myself…inside…my façade and true self…my fake alter ego and something quivering…

My Introduction to Psychology 1

My Introduction to Psychology1

I view psychology…as a personal and intimate matter. I ask you to hold onto saying that “that is such and such approach”. As soon as you define my theoretical orientation or simply label my concepts, you might interfere my imagination…


This writing, an online textbook of introduction to psychology, is an authentic one…I will not follow the standard organization of writing in this book. Writing in fragments…you may take it as lack of cohesion while others may take this writing style as a genuine attempt to dig into the wealth of…what would I say…my core?

An inspiration/A story

I would like to limit my journal writing, for now, until I get an inspiration.
(Inspiration in this case means that a story shows itself and urges me to write about it, no the other way around.) I haven’t gotten inspiration in the last few months. I know it is coming soon…

The title of this blog

Well…this blog still continues. I already took chemistry, biology, and microbiology finals at my current school (guess where?) last week. Here I am, planning for a brief vacation for the last minute.

Regarding to the title of this blog, I am not practicing psychotherapy right now. But whatever I will do in my life will reflect my background. I won’t change at the core…

BGM: Beck's "Already dead"

My unplugged family

I just emailed my mother from the school PC. My family had been one of the most unplugged folks until she have gotten the text messaging function on her cell phone. The deal is; she types in Japanese and some of my school PC can display the language. I use the roman alphabet to write her. Emailing my family makes me nostalgic- when I came to US long time ago, I communicated with my family with long-distance phones, faxes, and letters…

Why do I keep blogging?

[Why do I keep blogging?]
Another faculty member mentioned my blog (this one), asked me why I do this. He is not judging my motivation, but curious. This is why I am elaborating on this topic…

First, I am blogging to proof that I am here and I will be here. I will not disappear, not from the cyberspace and playgrounds of thinking. Second, I am here to proof myself that what I am thinking is important, at least, to me and ppl around me…

Hmmm…my LAN network has been down for the last two days. [title only]

Hmmm…the LAN network at home has been down for the last two days.

Thank you for your support...

Thank you for your support...
Briefly discussed on my situation with M, 4th year student.
One of the discussion topics are…Art: Do you create an art form or the art calls on you?

New Apt

[New Apt]
Found an apartment. The room will be ready to move my stuff in as early as two weeks.

Ikiru! The superb movie!

Ikiru http://www.xasa.com/wiki/en/wikipedia/i/ik/ikiru.html I am sorry for my language. But if you think that life is meaningless, get up, hop on your car, and grab this damn movie!

THE REALM OF VISUAL STATISTICS [useful stuff-statistics]

THE REALM OF VISUAL STATISTICS [useful stuff-statistics]

MODERN EPISTEMOLOGY IN SEARCH FOR MEANING
BY DAVID J. KRUS


Posted the link to a Wiki:
Getting Serious About Statistics

[Note][Adult ADHD]

[Note][Adult ADHD]
"Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder", Psychiatric Clinics of North America, June 2004, Vol27(2)Editor T. Spencer. ISSN 0193-953X [Found at MSPP]

Looks like another kayak day (Saturday)

Looks like another kayak day. I will finish videotaping a psychpharm class in one hour or so: the kayak time is coming as soon I get off from this (yet still fun) work today!

I have been actively kayaking and canoeing on the Charles River lately. One of my classmates expressed his deep interest in joining...Anybody wanna join us in the summer?

See you on the water.

A slowly shattered soul/drafting a website

[A slowly shattered soul/drafting a website]


I am re-reading Bessel van der Kolk’s seminal article about post traumatic-stress disorder, “The Body Keeps the Score”.

This article somehow makes me plan another website, or at least another page on my existing website (jayotsuka.com). The new website will feature dissociation, trauma, and spirituality. I start with these vague ideas, since I believe that a website has a flexibility that allow me to think about/work on multiple themes at the same time. This website is a challenge to myself: I will speak to linier thinkers and parallel thinkers at the same time through the web.

First Bipolar Paper is done

I just submitted a literature search paper, which consumed me in the last one month or so. This was my first time to write a formal paper about this topic. Thank you for P.W. and S. A. for helping me out.

[Dostoevsky-stuff]

Humans are beautiful,

in spite of,
in spite of,
in spite of,...
and

because of...

[! Last Samurai! ][Gotta See it]

Just watched The Last Samurai, featuring Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe. Watanabe almost stole the movie as a supporting actor. No, let's say that this movie is a product of a teamwork, and Tom Cruise blended in the entire architecture of the movie. How mature and accomplished Cruise is. Did I hear Oscars for the both actors? This movie is the bomb.

[i-Tunes and urban funk]

[i-Tunes and urban funk]
You know i-Tunes, and funk music is assaulting my ears right at this moment...Urban funk gives me a lift...check out radio section of i-Tunes. http://www.apple.com/itunes/ It is compatible with Mac/Windows. It rocks...

[Thanks][K@ Library]

[Spy News][Nick C]

[Spy news][New Student Worker]

[Today’s “Good Kid”]

Working hard or hardly working

[Plug & Play][i-mac][Have fun]

My friend K took me to his lab in a medical school. Lots of imacs!!!

[Dissertation][Spiritual Stuff][MSPP Grad]/[Boston][Online Community]

[Dissertation][Spiritual Stuff][MSPP Grad]

Aliveness: A Study on Transcendent Experiences in Positive and Negative Contents by Carol D. Gray (1995).
A very comprehensive work_even as a dissertation.

[Boston][Online Community]
http://boston.craigslist.org/

[CBT, Metacognition, mindfulness, and Haruki Murakami][Hip Journal Article]

This article does not mention Haruki Murakami (maybe he should...not only just because I like the author but Murakami writes about the rhythm of his daily life); yet this article shakes my Harukian part of brain...
re: GAD, Metacognition, and Mindfulness: An Information Processing Analysis by Adrian Wells, U of Manchester. In Clinical Psychology 9: 95-100, 2002.

[Assessment][DSM-V development]

A Research Agenda for DSM-V
http://www.appi.org/Cat2k/2292.html
Free to download a thick book from American Psychiatric Association. I am curious how APA handle validity and reliability of new DSM…

[molecular psychiatry]
[Steven E. Hyman, M.D]
Research Summary
Does this mean that dopamine agonists might change gene expression of neurons, which create dorpamine? Wow. Non-science major like me don’t have enough training to understand this...

[PB researcher][Psychiatric Genetics][John Rice Kelsoe, Jr., M.D]

[John Rice Kelsoe, Jr., M.D]
Bio/Publications

About.com Picked this Blog

About.com Mental Health picked this Mental Health Therapist's Daily Memos recently. I don't know exactly when, but I bumped into a link, just now.
http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/weblogsblogs/

A Beautiful Mind- Manic Depression and Kay Jamison

Read An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison- The author is a professor in Psychiatry in John's Hopkins and a prominent author. Her story of academic inquires on and personal battles with manic depression (bipolar disorder) is simply exquisite and intriguing.

What behavior is pathological and what is not?

If a behavior significantly undermines your daily functions, it is pathological; if not, it is normal.

This statement is a rough sketch. But as far as I know,
this is a foundation of psychopathology. The rest of arguments are matters of
different values, subjective opinions, and politics.

I have no intention to make another diagnosis cookie-cutter ...just a thought.

[Link][Psychopharmacology][Psychiatry]
Psycho-Babble by Dr Bob.

[Journal Articles]
[Buddhism and CBT]
Cognitive and Behavioral Practice9(1), 2002. Special Series.

[Journal Article]
[Emotion, Information-Processing, Behaviorism]
Measuring Emotion in Therapy: Imagery, Activation, and Feeling. Lang, P., Cuthbert, B., & Bradley, M. (1998). Behavior Therapy 29, 655-674. [Course Packed of CBT Class] Additional key words: meaning, semantics, network

[Memo][Music]
Rachmaninoff Prelude in G-Sharp Minor. Wow!

Maybe I did not tell the reader that I have been working on campus for two weeks. I just help a huge renovation of the school building and office work like stuffing envelopes. Job is good; now I can pay for a bag of potato.

[Log] [Research]
Methodological Issues and Strategies in Clinical Research, 3rd ed. Edited by Alan E Kazdin. 2003. ISBN: 1-55798-959-1: I just looked at this in lunch break. What a thick book.

How Japanese People Really Think About "You"?
If you are interested in reading honest opinions and relatively accurate (in my opinion) information from Japanese people and those who are in Japan, try Japan Times. It also features cultural backgrounds in clear English. Don't miss the Letter section...some of the letters are from US and they may say something you always wanted to say!
The Japan Times

"The core of Piaget is his belief that looking carefully at how knowledge develops in children will elucidate the nature of knowledge in general. " Papert
Source

Bipolar Disorder: Phenomenology

"Verbal learning (the CVLT) and sustained attention (the RVIP), are particularly potent indicators of the deficit in mania."

Guy M. Goodwin, M.D.
link

It looks like that the author are referring to adult population.

Just a scribble...titled "a cute onion".
onion me!